Basically this story about my first crush or maybe my first love. My first-ever-crush is... when i was in the kindergarten. He's my neighboor, my chilhood friend. he looks kinda weird and funny (but i think he's cute). i like him for over 6years (i think, i'm not really sure). I've never had the chance to talk to him, just the two of us, we only played together, but of course i was too shy and intimidated back then.

But, the funniest things in this story is... I've sent a letter to him when i was in 2nd or maybe 3rd grade in elementary school. I have a girl friend back then, and we always stick together like glue. I dont remember the exact moments, but the point is she's telling me to write a letter for him. i obviously refused at first, but she force me to write, then i gave up. She helped me preparing what's needed for making a letter, like paper, crayon (something that children always need), and flower. I put a lot of think for the letter. "What should i do?" "What should i write?" "What if he becomes hated me?" Something like that haunting my mind. Afterward, I gave him the letter directly. But after that he didnt said anything. He didint even reply my letter. Like nothing ever happen. I find it kind of sad.

As time goes by, we'd still being a good friend. But, still, I dont know how look at him in the eyes whenever i meet him. I dont know if he remembered that i've sent him a letter. So when i look at him, i always thought "oh, i've like this guy back then."

Hani.

Tak lupakah kamu dengan apa yang sudah kamu lakukan?

Kamu datang seperti duri, lalu pergi seperti mimpi. Tanpa diminta. Namun ketika aku sedang benar-benar menginginkannya, kamu hanya memberi ruang hampa. Seeenaknya pergi dan kembali berulang-ulang. Apa yang kamu lakukan ini, semata cinta, atau hanya permainkan rasa?

Jangan buang waktumu dengan membuang-buang waktuku. Jika tak ingin miliki hati, jangan bawa pergi bahkan berlari dan tak kembali. Kembalikan hati itu ke tempat semula jika kamu memang tak berminat menimbulkan luka.

You know, the fact forgiving is easy for me, but forgetting and trusting again is the hard part. i appreciate her for being honest to me, thank you. but you know, sometimes being really honest isnt very good too, just keep silent is best way. Because not everyone has the same heart as you.
Let me tell you something.
This person is sooo dramatic, I mean, even the slightest problem can make this person go 'baper', i mean i am baper too, we are baper, cuz we have heart. If we dont baper, then thats mean we are heartless. But, i think it is too much. I didnt says something harsh to her, i'm just reminding her. After that she said something really mean to me, she said i'm 'childish' but yeaa i accept it for being childish, but the other word that came out from her mouth is i am rude and didnt think about other people feeling. WHAT ABOUT YOU? telling things in front of people. you dont even know me and my friend feeling right? Respect other people privacy! Respect other, if you want to be respected. You dont even know the case and you dont know me very well and suddenly, out of the blue you said something like that?! HAHAHAHHA. then i was like, 'what's your problem, dude? Chill out!'. The things that makes me really mad at her is that she is connecting me being in an organization, and the attitude that i have is different. WHAT? hahahhahaah you dont really understand me, thats funny.

But then, this person apologize to me. and yeaa maybe i'm being to rude to didnt answer her about the apology, it isnt like i dont want to forgive this person, because my friend once said to me "percuma kalo minta maaf kalo bakalan diulangin lagi". After that, all of my friends told me that "Udah biarin aja, emang kek gitu orangnya, iya iyain aja kalo ngomong" because most of my friends in class is on my side, so and i was like "Okay".

Girl. If you have problem with me, just talk to me, talk in front of my face! dont bad-mouthing other people behind their back, its make him/her look bad in other people's eyes. And maybe next time i will give you 'mirror' as present.

Peace,
Hani.

Hello there!~ It's been a loooooong time since my last post. Well, nobody comes here anymore and I ain't got time to write. But! I scrolled through hundreds of old posts on my Facebook and wow. How time flies real fast. And I thought why not post something to this humble blog of mine... So here I am.

Right now, I'm currently writing my task. i really have so muchhhh task this week, im so gloomy. It's due next week, and I have finished half of them muehehe but, hey who cares! lol.
I didnt know what should i write, lately my life is really boring. But i got so much interesting new friend in university. yeayyyy and no, university life doesn't stop me from being me, i mean the real me. The CRAZYYY ONE OF MY SELFF. I don't even know anymore. I mean, I thought university life will somehow tone down my life, but no. Huff. Okay what in the world did I just say. From task to life. Ugh I'm so boring right now.

So. That's all, I guess. I need to finish my essay, like, right now. Omg.

Bye! *hugs*

Having stress and deep thought make me look so thin, so now i decide to move on and distract myself. To those that pissed me off, seriously............I'm not going to apologize you. I dont give a fuck anymore.
Sorry for the vulgar but stress really  make me thin. So i've to change!
Alright bye, sorry for this boring blog post

Oh hai.
Trying to keep up the habit of blogging frequently turned out to be a lot harder than I expect. I wish I had a cooler excuse like "oh, I have too much fun things happening in my life I forgot to blog" rather than the loser fact that college is trying to eat away my soul.

Btw the result is out today, and i'm the one who unlucky people. And i should saying goodbye to UNJ, bye bye 'jaket ijo' u r always be my college dream. ughh.
And now, I'm a Gunadarma University student, officially an English Literature student now! Yeay? But I don't even know if it is what I really want! Or if I will ever survive there. But I thought I should try first, so... Yeah. Ugh. To all of you, high school students going to university, please don't be like me, and choose your uni and subject wisely.

Hi everyonee~~ its been a long time since my last post, isnt it? bcs im busy for the entrance-exam-college. and i hope i do my best. and i will fight for it.

gatau, akhir-akhir ini, suka banget lagu ini.

saya tidak bodoh, saya sudah bisa berpikir cepat, saya sudah bisa membaca keadaan, dan saya mengerti apa yang sebenarnya terjadi. umur saya sudah 17 tahun, dan saya paham semuanya. mungkin kalian pikir, saya cuma anak-anak yang tidak tahu apa-apa dan kalian bisa seenaknya berkata-kata ini dan itu dan membiarkan saya dengar semuanya. salah banget, kalau kalian mau tahu. sakit banget rasanya dengerin kalian. sedih banget, pingin teriak sekencang kencangnya. ya walaupun saya cuma diam-diam kayak gini, bukan berarti saya tidak tahu.

Ketika kamu jatuh cinta kepada seseorang, kamu ingin lebih banyak tahu tentang orang itu.
Tapi, Jika aku pikir, aku tidak terlalu banyak tahu tentangmu.
Tapi meskipun begitu, aku sangat menyukainya.
Benar-benar aneh.

BOO!

It's been quite a while since my last post, isn't it? Blame it on seniorhigh! I really want to post some cheerful stories today, but, actually the reason I come back to post because I have no one to talk to. Huf life is tough indeed. Anyway, blogs are also diaries ryt? So I think it's fine to 'curhat' a lil bit :p

People do make mistake. Don't they? I just did. But the worst part is that I am such a coward that I don't have enough courage to say ''I am sorry''. I tried, though. Not verbally said ''I am sorry'', but the way I treat her. Like, companying her everywhere she goes. I know, that doesn't pay the mistakes I made, but what else can I do? Our relationship is getting better, indeed, but it won't be the same, will it? T_T

Siapa yang bilang masa SMA adalah masa yang paling menyenangkan?

Masa SMA itu adalah masa yang dipenuhi oleh tugas2 menumpuk dan disusul harus memikirkan masuk PTN yang favorit. HALAH! Masa yang sangat membosankan! Siapa yang bilang masa SMA itu bisa jadi anak rajin yang terus2an ke perpus terus bawa buku banyak trus tabrakan sama cowo cakep dan di slowmotion-in? Trus ada konflik berantem sama temen karena dia ternyata adalah TMT gitu. iuh. #KorbanFTV #TamparHani

Masa yang paling menyenangkan itu adalah masa SMP taukk! Pengen balik ke smp. ARRRGGGHHHH. Butuh doraemonnn!! Kameha mehaaa!!!!!!! CIAT wkwkwk

Yaaa tapi bagaimanapun juga gue harus menjalankan masa SMA gue yang sangat membosankan ini sodara2. Doakan hani yaa. Semoga hani Kuat. hft.

HAAAAIII HAAAAIII.
Long time no see :( udah lama buanget gak ngepost. Gue sibuk buanget. Gue sibuk belajar masak. Oke, ini serius. Gue beneran belajar masak, tapi bukan beneran, melainkan di games.co.id yaa karena gue terlalu bete banget banget dengan jejaring sosial masa kini, dan gue lebih tertarik buat main games atau upload foto iseng di instagram. *EEEAAA CURHAT*
Yappp yaaa... Gue juga bingung mau ngepost apaannn... Biasanya gue bikin penggalauan, tapi entah kenapa belakangan ini gue susah buat galau. Diksi-diksi yang ada didalem otak gue tiba-tiba menghilang gitu aja. Tapi satu yg gak akan terlupa, yaitu kamu seorang hahahha

Yaa seperti yang gue tau, ketika seseorang kehilangan kata-katanya untuk menulis maka membacalah. Itu yang gue inget. Jadi sebulanan ini gue ngebaca novel dengan bahasa berat dan sukses membuat gue muntaber karena saking pusingnya dengan kata-kata melankolis yang ada dinovel itu.
Udah dehya, see ya next post ketika gue udah berhasil mendapatkan kembali kata-kata itu. Bubye!

FFFUUU LIMIT! Daritadi aku belajar pusiiingggg banget ga ngerti-ngerti tiba-tiba besok ulangan aja.
yaaa sebenernya juga bukan tiba2. aku harus ikut ujian susulan karena 2 hari aku gak ikut UTS. huffed bete abisss. Padahal semua anak kelas 11 besok libur sedangkan aku masuk HAAAAHHHH! INI GAK ADIL TUHANNNN..... lol
Kebayang banget besok aku ngerjain pake tampang suram -_____-

Ah sudah deh mau ngerandom aja di internet. nanti malem baru diterusin lagi, terus bsk mau bangun pagi trus belajar limit lagi. Bincang-bincang ditutup.

Bye!

tauga sih rasanya dikelilingin sama orang yg sayang sama kita, tapi kita tetep suka ngerasa kesepian.

Aduh gatau deh sekarang kayanya kok gini banget. Banyak banget pikiran, rasanya pengen cerita, tapi gatau cerita apaan. Pengen nangis. Kayanya kalo sekarang2 gue dengerin lagu yang sedih-sedih gitu bakal gampang banget nangis. Lebay banget emang kan? Bukan karena lagunya, tapi karna emang pengen.
Takutnya kalo cerita ke seseorang gue disangka pengaduan atu lemah, u r never understand in my position hah! Gue berusaha baik-baik aja diluar, tp di dalem sama sekali engga tampak baik!! Gue juga berusaha biar kita tetep temen.

Yaaa gitu deh. Kalo aja gue bisa pergi kemanaaaa gitu yang jauh (menyusup ke dalam bumi) sendirian aja, ga bawa alat komunikasi apapun. Ke tempat yang gaada seorang pun kenal gue. Bener-bener gaada beban dan gaada yang mesti dipikirin. Gue udah capek. I'm out okeh, I'M OUT!!!

tapi gue teringat satu kata kak retno tadi siang,


The End.
post ini bener-bener sangat no offense ya.

Wanita itu kuat menyimpan segala penderitaan dalam hatinya..
Wanita itu diam bukan karena dia lemah, tetapi dia tidak ingin berdebat.
Wanita itu lebih suka menyimpan rahasia.
Wanita itu lebih suka ternsenyum palsu, bukan karena munafik. tapi untuk membahagiakan seseorang.

Guys, akhir-akhir ini ada benda kecil yg nempel di muka gue. ya jerawat. ya, biar bagaimanapun buat banyak orang jerawat adalah benda kecil misterius yang datang ga diundang, pergi harus dibasmi. apalagi kalo letak munculnya jerawat itu di area strategis bgt yg bisa diliat org, yaiyalah jelas kalo di wajah. oh please, kayak hidung, di pipi, deket bibir, deket mata, uwaaah itu udah paling males kalo sampai temen-temen satu sekolah nanya "apaan tuh disitu? jerawat ya? ciee hani jerawatan hihihi, lagi suka sama siapa? udah gede nih yee" gezz, jerawat ga hanya muncul pas kita sedang suka sama orang kan?

gue akuin emang akhir-akhir ini gue jarang cuci muka, tapi faktor yg mendukung bgt ya cokelat. Bayangkan, seminggu gue udah beli cokelat 4 batang wkwk. Gue emang suka bangetbangetbanget Cokelat! wkwk

dan hari ini pun cuma gara-gara satu jerawat ini gue di cengcengin abis2an sama temen gue, emang pada iseng tuh -___- kaya gak pernah liat orang cantik jerawatan aja wkwk

akhirnya gue menemukan mitos ini di google....
Arti Jerawat di Pipi Kanan:
1. di pipi kanan = ada yg perhatian dan care sama kamu.
2. lagi berusaha meninggalkan sesuatu/ seseorang.

asikasik gue di care-in sama seseorang wkwk tapi yg kedua  gue emang bener lagi pengen ninggalin sesuatu, gue takut semua perhatian ini malah gue artikan lain, jadinya gue rada menjauh gitu, gangerti kan? yaa hanya gue yg ngerti :3

xoxo,
Hani ♥